ON this Father’s Day, I would like to share the pain of a father who is going through difficult times because of the “wounds” inflicted by his daughter who had gone against the very principles in life he stood for and hoped his children would follow.
He is a very old friend known for his cheerfulness and a positive outlook in life. I was shocked to see him depressed and very different from the person I used to know.
He said everything was all right until a few years ago when his only daughter disobeyed him and married a man who already had a wife and grown-up children.
He loved the daughter so much and had great hopes for her. His life seems to have come to a standstill and depression has made him a withdrawn and reclusive person who avoids even his close friends and relatives.
This friend is not alone. I realise many fathers today are facing similar problems. Delinquency, drug addiction, immoral activities and crime are some of the problems which have turned their once obedient and caring children into nightmares.
Life is no longer as simple as it used to be when a father’s word was the absolute truth that could not be challenged by the children. This had its pros and cons but by and large, it contributed to peace and unity in the family, as most fathers had the welfare of the family at heart in whatever they did.
Society today is much more complex with tremendous advancements in technology. Today, the role of the elder is becoming irrelevant.
We may be highly developed in technology but we must not fail to realise that the value of experience can only be obtained after years of handling the challenges in life.
We must not forget that wisdom, forbearance and tact acquired through years of experience are equally important in managing the many pressing issues today.
Our fathers may not be technology savvy but their experiences in life were invaluable. We must not ignore them as that would only lead to our downfall.
We should explain our stand, especially when we think they are wrong. As children, obedience to our father should be out of respect for the sacrifices that he has made for our well being.
What we are today is very much due to his dedicated love that no amount of money, technology or education can buy.
He may be outdated in this world of technology but he is still relevant as we need his blessings. We can make him happy by consulting him on the major decisions in our lives. We can make him happy by trying not to do what he hates.
We can make him happy by correcting our wrongs in life. In short, we can make him happy by trying to be the children we were to our dads when we were young. We should not underestimate the value of his blessings in our lives.
On this Father’s Day, let us try to heal the wounds we have caused through disobedience by mending our wrongful ways. Obedience to our fathers should not be seen as a sign of weakness but as a sign of respect and faith in them.
Dr CHRIS ANTHONY, Butterworth
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